This article is about what attracts a younger woman to an older man. Munich. It's nothing new that older men are often interested in younger women. Celebrities like politician Franz Müntefering, who is 41 years older than Michelle Obama, and actor Til Schweiger, who is 23 years older than his girlfriend Francesca Dutton, have already shown this to be true. He's old and rich, and she's young and hot, so assignments and judgments come to mind quickly. Together, a great community with a shared goal.[1]
On the other hand, the fact that younger women really want older men who are the same age as their fathers and grandfathers raises doubts, as does the idea that older men could seriously think they could enjoy a second youth with a much younger partner. But the model isn't just shown by famous people. What's so appealing about the difference in ages? And, most importantly, is one of these relationships right for a long-term future together?
Don't make moral decisions.
Ulrich Schmitz, a psychologist in Cologne, thinks it's very important to completely ignore a moral condemnation in the meantime. When it comes to direction, there are many ways to find yourself in the world. Schmitz says that this also includes the attraction between people who are very different ages.
For him, it might be too quick "to pathologize the whole thing," which is unusual at first glance. If two people date equally, even if it's mostly sexual, and no one takes advantage of the other, that's just one of the many ways our lives are different. But it's really as a substitute unusual."
For psychologist Schmitz, this kind of relationship between young and old starts to go wrong when the position styles become very extreme: "If the younger women make themselves very small and the guys in the back act very dominant, mature, and skilled, a grade comes in, which I suppose has hints of incest." Such patterns of behavior were too similar to those between a father and a daughter.[2]
But this paperwork is never done on its own when two people of very different ages get together.
A lot depends on how you look.
Wolfgang Krüger, a psychotherapist in Berlin, doesn't think it's necessary to call the police right away if a young woman is dating someone older than her father. "We have a lot of tolerance for all kinds of relationships that are possible now," he says.
But Krüger can't completely hide the fact that he is suspicious of the idea of a simple sexual attraction between a 20-year-old and a 60-year-old. "At age 20, it's clear that how you look matters a lot. "Most young women find men who are thin and strong to be attractive," says Krüger. According to the psychotherapist, it is very unusual for women to choose a much older man who shows signs of having lived a long life: "The woman is blossoming, and the old man can see the end of his life." That has a huge chance of making you feel like a stranger to yourself. So there's no chance of a happy ending? At least, not if physical love is all that's in the foreground.
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People often think of young men as kids.
Professionals agree that a relationship based on love, trust, and safety is much easier to understand than one that is mostly sexual. People have often said that older guys are a mix of shallowness, sophistication, and status. It looks like that's the case with younger girls. Especially because, from a psychological point of view, young men are often useless, self-centered, and jealous, which girls their age often think of as childish.
The big age difference usually works as long as the older man is healthy and strong. Krüger says that illness and leaving the busy world of work are often the reasons why relationships don't work out. Because then the focus shifts to things that both partners had been trying to hide: virility gives way to physical frailty, a confident businessman is sent on age-related time off and either gets bored or throws himself into hobbies and trips that the partner doesn't share or can't enjoy because it's probably tied to the job. what attracts a younger woman to an older man, This makes the differences between young and old even bigger. It's hard for them to find a rhythm that works for both of them. This is likely to make people feel alone. It might be something like the lyrics to Andreas Bourani's song "On Other Ways." It says, "My heart beats faster than yours. They no longer beat together." Scientists have found that this is exactly what it takes for a relationship to last.
Equal rights are best.
Research in the modern world shows that relationships between people of very different ages don't last long because their living environments are too different. Krüger talks about boundary strains in this way: When there is a 9-year age difference between two people in a relationship, the chance of them breaking up is already very high. If two people are 20 years apart in age, there is a 95% chance that they will break up. This is also shown by a study done by Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, on the right age difference: When it comes to numbers, a relationship is most likely to last if both people are the same age or there is no more than a 4-year age gap between them, researchers found. This has a lot to do with living the same way and, especially, being sexual.
Krüger says, "Our whole life experience goes into sexuality. That's why it's right if the character I'm sleeping with is the same age as me. It's not just the physical that matters, but our whole character, which includes what we think, feel, who we are, and how far along we are. Peers also feel insecure and share the same worries. And that's a good thing because they both speak the same language, both in life and in bed." Age does matter, at least when it comes to love.[3]
Surely everyone has a friend who is with a much younger girl. He's 48, she's 26, or he's just about to turn 50, but he dates a 30-year-old. A thing that, for me, is annoying. Because if you look at how it seems when it's the other way around, especially when a woman is with a younger man, people often say silly things. And even if the feedback is silly, it's always worth pointing out.
Take French President Emmanuel Macron and his partner Brigitte Trogneux, who is a lot older than him. Both are 25 years apart. Here, the age difference is often talked about, as if it were something different than when a man has a partner who is much younger, like former Chancellor Gerhard Schroder, who is 73 and has a female friend who is 48.
Why do men and women get different grades? The truth is that in our society, everything that is different from the norm is seen as disturbing. People are creatures of habit and tend to stick to things that are familiar to them. And it's not that unusual to see an older man with a younger woman in this picture. At least better known and more recognizable than the reverse photograph.
Also read: A betrayal or good enough? How much can you say about your partner?
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The records and numbers
The numbers show that there are a lot more guys with younger girls than the other way around. The Federal Statistical Office says that in 73 percent of relationships today, the man is older than the woman. Only 17% of the time is the woman older than the man.
However, it's important to note that only 6% of couples have a difference in age of more than ten years. No matter what the stars look like, Emanuelle Macron and his partner will always be the exception. what attracts a younger woman to an older man, When the age difference between two people is big, the social environment is also tense.
Three Great Years
Most of the time, you look for a partner who is about the same age as you, give or take three years. Statistics show that a German man's first wife is, on average, 2.9 years younger than him. In 2019, about 44 percent of couples had an age difference of between one and almost four years. In this age range, it went up to even 47 percent for married couples.
And this age difference between older men and younger partners can be seen all over the world and has been going on for hundreds of years. Even though our society is much more tolerant and modern than it used to be, it doesn't seem to have changed much in this way.
Keeping to what is known
Stephanie Bethmann, a sociologist at the University of Freiburg, also found in her research that, despite all the changes in society, we still tend to follow traditional styles. Even though social rules have been gone for a long time, we still follow very old-fashioned ways of choosing a partner. Women with younger men are the exception, and if possible, a big age difference between a pair is avoided.
A study by FriendScout24 is also interesting. For this study, 20,000 people were asked how old their ideal partner would be. And, surprise, ladies wanted someone who was 2.9 years older, while guys wanted someone who was 6.2 years younger. And as men get older, the preferred partner needs to be younger. Men over 60 want women more than ten years younger than them.
Also check out Me, not us: How to be yourself when you're with someone for a long time
Who gives blessings to the old and who to the young?
One has to wonder what would cause a young woman in her mid-20s to look for a partner who is a lot older, like in her mid-40s. Because between the ages of 20 and 25, there are a lot more single men than there are in their 40s. So that can't be the reason.
The 45-year-old man looking for a younger partner is unique: he knows that there aren't many options in his age group and that many women of the same age are already in long-term relationships or have children from other men. So it's easy to see why he did what he did. Even more so when you think about how a person shouldn't feel rushed to start a family at age 30 because their biological clock is still ticking. He has a lot more time than he needs to think about it. If a person is in his late 40s and still wants to have children, he can start all over with a younger partner.
And it's very unfair that women don't have the same rights. A woman can't wait forever to start a family. By itself, this leads to couples with different ages. Even if this hurts women, who can't keep orienting themselves downwards in terms of age if there aren't any skill-matched friends their age. Around the mid-40s, starting a family is no longer enough. So, younger men who want kids are no longer taken seriously as potential partners. As a result, as a girl, you tend to think of yourself as older.
But there are limits to the age difference. If it's too big, it can cause problems in the relationship. Because if a girl who is 20 years old meets a woman who is 40, it is possible that they still think the same way and live the same way. But what if she is 45 years old and he is 65? Then everything seems to be very different. She is in the middle of her career, and he is most likely retired.
But the older friend also has something that the younger woman likes. With a man over 35 or 40, you can really predict where he will go on an adventure. How is he doing professionally? Is he reliable and willing to make a long-term commitment? What can he offer a family, both in terms of money and in terms of a person?
Life-long Companion
For the person, being with a younger woman is also beneficial in other ways: men with younger partners live longer because they are cared for and cared for by a young, healthy woman, they have to stay active, and sex is also known to be healthy. The younger the person's partner is, the better it is for the person's life expectancy. This is what the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research found out after they did a study.
Again, we girls lose out. It could be very different if it were the other way around. Women who have a partner who is older tend to die younger. And even a young partner doesn't make life last longer, as one might think. In reality, a girl lives longer with someone her own age.
Conclusion:
In the end, we women don't really gain much from having an older partner. what attracts a younger woman to an older man, He costs us our lives, we might have to take care of him, and we might end up a widow faster than if we had a young man by our side. So we need to rethink our plan to hunt animals 3 to 12 months old, which is good for us.
And it's not too much to hope that the different ways men and women see things will slowly change. How often, for instance, Heidi Klum's 16 years were talked about more than her husband Tom Kaulitz's. It's bad. It's not fair for girls to be smiled at when they're with a younger partner while men are complimented on their young partner.
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